Well, let's start with the writer. Roger Avary is best known for his work on Pulp Fiction. His next most successful outing in cinema is Beowulf. The problems that appear to me with this is that...those aren't horror movies!
What do you mean? Beowulf was terrifying? Actually, it's not a bad movie. It is certainly not great, but its not bad. It's still no horror movie. Let's move onto the next problem with Silent Hill. Christopher Gans. Gans directed Brotherhood of the Wold and to be fair this is a film that isn't bad. However, it isn't the same genre as Silent Hill. The writer and director were both chosen with their various outings of success to try and rope as many movie goers as possible into this film. Pulp Fiction, Beowulf, a marginally successful horror flick in 2001. The possibility is there. In fact look at the fuckin monster right up there. How about this set piece:
That looks pretty cool, what about this one:
Hey awesome, we have blood on the wall. We can't go wrong! No, no we did go wrong. Let me tell you why.
Gans did an excellent job of providing a truly creepy environment that was well adapted from the source material of the video game. The plot is what really goes wrong. You have Sean Bean but he's not used for more than a few scenes of "What's going on here! I don't get it!" We're treated to a mom trying to find her daughter. Now, for those who know the video game (in fact I as a fan of the franchise have good things to say, but critically speaking as a piece of cinema is different) they are treated to a watered down version of a silent hill game. There's no real twists or turns, no big revelations, you watch the mom fight monsters, run through set pieces, and ultimately fight some big bad guys. The plot is so thin that anyone who has never seen a Silent Hill game will have no fucking clue why Silent Hill became a monstrous version of club med when the sirens went off.
The movie tries to explain it. They talk about witch burnings and the two children actually being one person and...you know what...fuck it all. It's a bad plot! Yes, you might find it in a video game version of silent hill, but to introduce an audience of people to the world of Silent Hill, its terrible. The movie is 2 hours long. There's a lot of discussion about the religion of the town and the movie constantly stops in a fashion of video game magic to slow the pace and offer information that isn't memorable and doesn't really affect your viewing experience.
How about a simple story of a town is cursed, bad shit happened, daughter is lost in town, mom is trying to save her, shit there's monsters, oh fuck Sean Bean is in this, oh cool we won. One and a half hours later we're done here.
WELLL NOOOOOOOPPPPPEEEEEEEE
But that actually sounds like a fun movie to watch...
I SAID NOPE MOTHER FUCKER
WHY!
Alright, let's talk about the good and the reason you can watch this film. Its a stunning visual accomplishment. The world of Silent Hill is brought to you in all its rusty and bloody fascination. If you are a fan of the video game, you'll feel like you're watching a traditional Silent Hill plot. This is long though and its information over load. Couldn't I just have a lot more of this:
Hell yea Demon Nurses, you're my jam!
Let's talk about the bad. The plot is thick and full of fat. You feel like you're watching a video game which over two hours does not translate to a good movie. You have all these beautiful sets and all these awesome monsters, but no one to get fucked up by them in the way you want them to get fucked up by them. That plot...oh that plot.
Listen, its a great video game adaptation but that statement sucks. The sequel has to be better...right? ...right??? ...
RIGHT!?
3D?
Nah...I'm Good...
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